I am at the end of my rope with my family. A month
ago I had a baby and am now ready to move on and have been looking for a new place to live
- I have been living at home during the pregnancy.
My grandmother recently moved out of her house so it was
assumed that I would move in. However, because I have a dog, my uncle and father
will not let me reside there. I, in turn, try to understand and look for
a another home. I am having a hard time grasping that my son and I can't live
in a better situation, economically because of their dog decision.
I am financially secure and am 25 years of age. On
another scale I need space and I need time with my son. It seems that every time I
turn around my baby is in someone else's arms and its very frustrating. Since his
birth I have been told what to do and how to do it and it feels like I have a large check
list for what "they" see me doing - I'm tired of it.
My mother has gone out of her way to make it hard for me to
leave and makes me feel guilty all the time. I don't think this is healthy for
either of us. I am moving out no matter what but is there any way that I can
communicate with my family in a proper fashion instead of being confrontational. I
am trying to understand this whole situation but mentally I am not functioning well here
at home. If you e-mail me back that is ok.
Sincerely
Must Leave ASAP
Dear Must Leave:
You're probably better off not relying on your family for
your housing. You never know when things will take an unpleasant turn. If you are totally
on your own, there is less chance for interference. You definitely need your own space,
physically and emotionally.
Try to keep things very low key and don't allow yourself to
get drawn into a confrontation. Make your plans and keep them to yourself until you are
ready to move. Calmly tell your family about your plans, thank them for all the help they
gave you and don't expect anything from them. Invite them to your new place as soon as you
can. Be thankful that you are financially secure and can make your own decisions.
If your mom keeps trying to make you feel guilty, try to
ignore her comments and don't respond to them. Just thank her for all she has done.
Remember, she probably has a lot of strong feelings about everything. Is this her first
grandchild?
If you can avoid a big blow up, it will take less time for
any wounds to heal.
Best Wishes
